Sorting out feelings of anguish

I read a piece recently by a woman who suffered through years of Chronic pain and depression with drug therapy and now deals with her situation completely drug free.

She claimed her biggest success came with learning to stop trying to be what she wasn't. If she felt depressed she would allow herself to truly feel that depression, to become it, to embrace it. She realized that otherwise she was simply in denial of her true feelings.

Pain, depression, heartache, devastation - they aren't things most people actively choose to experience, yet they can be a part of anyone's life at some point in time. As all things do, the episodes of depression or pain or suffering will pass and be replaced with all sorts of other human emotions and expressions and episodes.

I am trying to work with this, not really doing the best at it... The past few days really seemed to put my thoughts in dark, scary, painful and angry places.

My passion is to share my sense of joy in creation. To celebrate nature, the natural world and the human spirit immersed within it. To encourage others to do the same. Yet i know that today in the world as a whole it may be difficult to maintain a celebratory stance. I have such confused and mixed feelings about the devastation of the lives of so many through several powerful natural events; tsunamis, earthquakes and a typhoon.

Nature, in this story will heal and what has changed will move on in a new direction as the laws of nature see fit. People's lives and families are another matter altogether. I pray for their safety and comfort and sense of peace. I am thankful that there are many on their way to assist as best they can. I feel such unfathomable grief for all that is lost through such calamity and hope for swift healing and recovery for all.

Then there's the Roman Polanski story which I guess I've allowed to get under my skin... no need, perhaps old wounds are being poked or what have you... it just makes me wonder about the whole "other world" the Hollywood society seems to live in.
Then again, who am I, I've no right to be judgmental... I don't wish to be, i'm trying to understand something, realizing it's futile and completely unnecessary anyway... I have to laugh at myself... yup - there's an old wound there that feels it's being prodded. Something that needs working from me... okay, perhaps I can work with that and find my way back out of the dark hole!

I guess that is the point of feeling through it all. hmmm I'm sure I'm not done yet... but maybe now it won't feel so fierce! May peace and love be a pillow to the world tonight.

With love, ...from the garden. ;-)